About Me

I am a compulsive emotional overeater. At a very early age I used food to cope for emotional pain and I have never looked back.

My addiction has kept me from enjoying my life because I spend most of my time alone. Shame, fear, guilt and disgust are all reasons why I have avoided people.

I think about food every minute of every day. My whole life revolves around food; when will I eat more, where can I get more, what am I going to eat. It’s become an obsession that I’m tired of obsessing over. Food is my drug, and sugar is my poison.

I have let my addiction hold me back from being happy. I gave it control over me and my life for all these years now it’s time to take it back.

The truth of the matter is I’m Not Hungry, I’m Addicted.

And so my story begins…

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40 Responses to About Me

  1. Well you have done the first step, I am sure that it will be a tough journey but you can do it!

    • Janie says:

      I have never, ever felt moved to respond to anything I have read in blogs, but your comments reminded me of someone………me ! I have been on a diet for 41 years ( I am 55 now ) sometimes I have been slim, sometimes fat and sometimes average.I tried to stop judging myself a few years ago around the time I turned 50 ,now I am trying to accept the fact that I will probably never have a “normal ” relationship with food and get on with living my life in whatever jean size I am wearing at the time,best wishes to you.Since doing this I think I am happier although sometimes also wishing I were slimmer ,I am not going to lie, but I hope you can achieve a state of equilibrium where you find joy

      • Aww thanks Janie. It’s good to know I’m not alone, but I hope it helps you to know that you’re not alone either. I know I too will always struggle with food on some level…but it’s my emotions that I struggle with the most. It’s my emotions that cause me to feel bad and eat bad food. Blogging has helped me tremendously with working through my emotions, but it’s a work in progress for me as I’m struggling to find time for myself…like most people. Find beauty in yourself and learn to love yourself and all your experiences….throughout all your 55 years young!!! You have a lot of life left to live! Have some new adventures…buy something that makes you feel sexy and wear it with a big smile on your face! Look in that mirror and tell yourself you love yourself! Make today the first day of the rest of your life and together you and I can both find our own personal joys!!! Thanks for commenting and please stay in touch!!! Much love!! Michelle

  2. It is a daily challenge but one day at a time, I’m feeling good! Thanks for your support!!

  3. cloudoflace says:

    Love your blog!! I’ll be inspired by you to get on my own journey of loosing weight & toning up 😉 Thanks a lot for sharing yours 🙂 & thanks for stopping by at my blog as well 🙂
    http://www.cloudoflace.com

  4. thewondermya says:

    Hi there ! I can relate to most of what you write, I am so happy you made the first step and are writing this blog ! I will be following your journey with a lot of interest ! All the best to you !

  5. njsherry says:

    I can totally relate to your journey. Are you going it alone or have you entrusted a like-minded counselor/therapist/coach?

  6. wallancee says:

    I was about 264lbs a couple of years ago, I’m now 143 – it is totally possible, and I too turned to food as my coping mechanism – it was my drug abuse, my alcohol abuse, except somehow eating too much food is slightly less offensive than being a drug addict – but the drastic nature of the consequences are the same! You have made a step, a positive step and you just have to keep going, pick yourself back up after a fall and just keep going 🙂

    • Wow that’s amazing congratulations on your weight loss journey!!! That’s truly aspiring!!! How long did it take you to lose the weight?? Every day is a new battle, and somehow I’ve managed not to fall off the horse yet…but it hasn’t been easy that’s for sure. You look awesome btw, I hope to meet you at that race one day!!! Thanks for the support!

      • wallancee says:

        It took a long time! Mainly because the first 45lbs weren’t lost through a consistent effort, I fluctuated up and down and then when I reached 230lbs I decided I wanted to change my life. I decided it wasn’t about weight, but it was about my future. I want to be the kind of mum that goes and plays with her kids, that runs with them, that is active and giving them the best possible example – so it wasn’t about weight, it was about being fit and healthy – in the process I lost weight! I then managed to lose 77lbs in just under a year – so around 1.5lbs a week, but of course it wasn’t that consistent, it started fast and then plateaued a couple of times before I finally got to this weight.

        Congrats on doing so well, on not falling off the horse, I do a lot lol! I try to not to be too hard on myself and start a new at the very next meal. I also made sure nothing was off limits, it’s all about learning moderation for me – eating chocolate everyday is not healthy, so I had to learn that chocolate ever once in a while is ok and much smarter than making it a delicious taboo!

        I’ll be running in Dallas in June, if you happen to be around it would be awesome to meet you and see your progress in 8 weeks time! How exciting the amount things can change in a short period of time when you put your self into it! 🙂

        Keep up the GREAT work!

      • That’s awesome! I feel the same way about my journey. I think my whole life I focused on food and eating it. Now I just want to be healthy and happy and live my life without limitations. The possibilities of what can happen is what is so motivating to me.

        One day I’m sure I’ll have chocolate again, but right now it’s my main trigger to binge so I avoid all sweets. I think mentally I have to be at a place where I feel safe about eating it, then I’ll attempt it again. Until then, I really don’t miss it.

        I live very far from Dallas haha but if I ever get there one day I’ll give you a shout out!!!

        Thanks for your inspiration and for sharing your story!!! You keep up the great work too!!!

  7. Your story is inspiring – it will be tough but you are going to be fine I promise! Well done 🙂
    Also thanks for subscribing to my blog my friend – I look forward to your posts 🙂

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru

  8. Hi there! ❤
    I love your blog, especially the cheesy bread post! YUM! 😉 I nominated you for the Amazing Blogger Award!

    ~Gracie

  9. Just discovered your blog, i have similar problems – an Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with a combination of binge-eating disorder and compulsive overeating. I look forward to reading your blog 🙂 xx

  10. Karyl says:

    I can relate. I’m a bit food obsessed myself. I am currently trying to lose weight and eat in moderation. Just had 40 m and ms. That’s 136 calories, but who’s counting. Me! 🙂 Good luck to you.

  11. iamsnole says:

    I nominated you for the Inspiring Blog Award! Thank for all your work!
    Details here: http://snole.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/blog-awards-for-inspiration/

  12. Girl you could be writing my own story 😀 I’ll be catchining up on all your blog posts 🙂

  13. Ameena says:

    Love and admire your honesty…I’m sure it can’t be easy! Wishing you lots of luck along the way.

    • Thank you so much, I appreciate that!! It’s been a long road, and I’ve got a lot of miles to go before I reach my goal, but I’ll get there! It’s been an adventure and I’m loving every minute!! Thanks for the support!!

  14. I love your blog and I’ve nominated you for a Sunshine Award! Hope you’ll keep it going!
    http://mimigettingfit.com/2013/01/28/award-season/

  15. You are not alone. Some days are better than others, but we’re fighters and are awesome despite the fact………….Healthy JOurney!

  16. I would love to share my experience with you, it might be helpful. I used food this way from my teens to my early 30’s. What I learned/experienced in “healing” allowed me to live free of the food struggle for ever after that. I am now 70. I never use food and I haven’t gained and lost as a pattern through life.
    THis is not an ‘advertisement” I’m just offering to share what I’ve learned and lived.
    I am elizabeth.
    I hope you can access my email, or leave a note if you can’t and would like to connect.
    If you don’t want to, no problem.

  17. kendra says:

    Hi! I have a quick question about your blog. Would you mind shooting me an email?

  18. You are brave to share your story! You are definitely not alone. So many people struggle with addiction, including addiction to food. I believe one of the reasons food addiction is so hard to overcome is because you can’t go cold turkey like alcohol or cigarettes. There is no walking away. Best of luck on your journey!

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