About Me


Welcome to my blog! My name is Michelle and I am a sugar addict in recovery, because let’s face it, addiction is a lifelong disease!

I’m Not Hungry, I’m Addicted.

I used to use food as a coping method for emotional pain, which led me to become severely addicted to sugar. I thought about it every minute of every day. Sugar was my drug of choice, my poison. Whether I felt anxious, scared, angry or sad, I turned to sugar to “heal my pain,” and survive my emotional state. I even ate it when I was happy. Whatever I felt, I always felt it very deeply. But I wasn’t eating sugar because I was hungry, I was addicted. Sugar gave me the same rush as alcohol to an alcoholic, cocaine to a drug addict, sex to a sex addict. I would get high off of sugar, I felt happy, drowning away my sorrows with each bite. It was always temporary though, like an addict, I always had to go back for more. I could never get enough.

Breaking Point…

I finally reached my breaking point. Sugar was killing me and I knew I had a problem. My weight was at an all time high. I knew if I didn’t give it up and take back control of my life, I would die. So on January 1, 2011 I gave it up, cold turkey. I committed myself to a new life…a sugar free one.

Sugar addiction is just like any other addiction. I would have family and friends tell me to just “cut back,” as if that was an option. They simply did not understand or believe that I even had a problem, it was “just all in my head.” But I knew differently. I could never just eat a little sugar, it always had to be a lot. I treated my addiction the same way an alcoholic treated theirs. No alcoholic will say “I’ll just have one beer today,” it doesn’t work like that, you end up drinking a case. It was the same for me. It wasn’t just one doughnut, it was six, or one cookie, it was a whole package. There was no way to continue eating sugar without my addiction taking over. I had to go all in, and give it up completely, so that’s what I did. This was my new reality. My new life. My fresh start.


It hasn’t been an easy road. All addicts are emotional. Emotions are difficult to handle. Addicts avoid emotions. I knew if I wanted to be successful in recovery, I had my emotions head on. I could no longer pretend that I was feeling what I was feeling. I had to allow myself to feel everything, and it was very hard to do.

Every single day is a challenge for me. How will I feel today? What obstacles will I have to overcome? What emotions will I go through? Like other addicts I have good and bad days. The bad days are the ones that challenge my weakness, bring out my addiction. When I’m overwhelmed or anxious, when I’m sad and heartbroken…it makes me crave sugar even more. It’s in those times I have to work harder to get through it. You have to just put one foot in front of the other, and take one step at a time. I can’t worry about tomorrow, I can’t even worry about today. I have to focus on right now, living in this moment, and take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.


Addiction is a lifelong disease. It never goes away, you’re never really cured. That’s what I believe. If there was a cure I would be able to stop thinking about sugar and not feel weak around it, not feel out of control with it, but that’s not the case. People who suffer from addiction are often some of the most emotionally charged people in the world. We feel everything very deeply, we live passionately, and we have addictive personalities.

My Hope…

I started this blog to help myself work through all of my emotions associated with my sugar addiction. I needed an outlet to express myself freely, without judgement from the people who know me best. Even though my blog is public, my identity will remain hidden. I have chosen to not share this with my friends and family. This blog is like my own personal diary, that leaves me very vulnerable, so I choose to keep it just for myself.  However, I want to use my story as a means to help other sugar addicts. My hope is that by sharing my struggles, my stories, my life, I can inspire other addicts to never give up, to know that they are not alone. I find that writing helps me work through my emotional state of mind, and process how I feel. It’s very important to me in my recovery and I believe it can help others as well.

This blog is an honest, personal journey of my sugar addiction recovery. The battles I face emotionally and physically, my constant struggle with my weight and food, and all the trials and tribulations that come with life. I’m taking you through it all.

Let the journey begin!

Anything is possible, even overcoming a sweet addiction.

Michelle, aka Hopeful Addict




40 Responses to About Me

  1. Well you have done the first step, I am sure that it will be a tough journey but you can do it!

    • Janie says:

      I have never, ever felt moved to respond to anything I have read in blogs, but your comments reminded me of someone………me ! I have been on a diet for 41 years ( I am 55 now ) sometimes I have been slim, sometimes fat and sometimes average.I tried to stop judging myself a few years ago around the time I turned 50 ,now I am trying to accept the fact that I will probably never have a “normal ” relationship with food and get on with living my life in whatever jean size I am wearing at the time,best wishes to you.Since doing this I think I am happier although sometimes also wishing I were slimmer ,I am not going to lie, but I hope you can achieve a state of equilibrium where you find joy

      • Aww thanks Janie. It’s good to know I’m not alone, but I hope it helps you to know that you’re not alone either. I know I too will always struggle with food on some level…but it’s my emotions that I struggle with the most. It’s my emotions that cause me to feel bad and eat bad food. Blogging has helped me tremendously with working through my emotions, but it’s a work in progress for me as I’m struggling to find time for myself…like most people. Find beauty in yourself and learn to love yourself and all your experiences….throughout all your 55 years young!!! You have a lot of life left to live! Have some new adventures…buy something that makes you feel sexy and wear it with a big smile on your face! Look in that mirror and tell yourself you love yourself! Make today the first day of the rest of your life and together you and I can both find our own personal joys!!! Thanks for commenting and please stay in touch!!! Much love!! Michelle

  2. It is a daily challenge but one day at a time, I’m feeling good! Thanks for your support!!

  3. cloudoflace says:

    Love your blog!! I’ll be inspired by you to get on my own journey of loosing weight & toning up 😉 Thanks a lot for sharing yours 🙂 & thanks for stopping by at my blog as well 🙂

  4. thewondermya says:

    Hi there ! I can relate to most of what you write, I am so happy you made the first step and are writing this blog ! I will be following your journey with a lot of interest ! All the best to you !

  5. njsherry says:

    I can totally relate to your journey. Are you going it alone or have you entrusted a like-minded counselor/therapist/coach?

  6. wallancee says:

    I was about 264lbs a couple of years ago, I’m now 143 – it is totally possible, and I too turned to food as my coping mechanism – it was my drug abuse, my alcohol abuse, except somehow eating too much food is slightly less offensive than being a drug addict – but the drastic nature of the consequences are the same! You have made a step, a positive step and you just have to keep going, pick yourself back up after a fall and just keep going 🙂

    • Wow that’s amazing congratulations on your weight loss journey!!! That’s truly aspiring!!! How long did it take you to lose the weight?? Every day is a new battle, and somehow I’ve managed not to fall off the horse yet…but it hasn’t been easy that’s for sure. You look awesome btw, I hope to meet you at that race one day!!! Thanks for the support!

      • wallancee says:

        It took a long time! Mainly because the first 45lbs weren’t lost through a consistent effort, I fluctuated up and down and then when I reached 230lbs I decided I wanted to change my life. I decided it wasn’t about weight, but it was about my future. I want to be the kind of mum that goes and plays with her kids, that runs with them, that is active and giving them the best possible example – so it wasn’t about weight, it was about being fit and healthy – in the process I lost weight! I then managed to lose 77lbs in just under a year – so around 1.5lbs a week, but of course it wasn’t that consistent, it started fast and then plateaued a couple of times before I finally got to this weight.

        Congrats on doing so well, on not falling off the horse, I do a lot lol! I try to not to be too hard on myself and start a new at the very next meal. I also made sure nothing was off limits, it’s all about learning moderation for me – eating chocolate everyday is not healthy, so I had to learn that chocolate ever once in a while is ok and much smarter than making it a delicious taboo!

        I’ll be running in Dallas in June, if you happen to be around it would be awesome to meet you and see your progress in 8 weeks time! How exciting the amount things can change in a short period of time when you put your self into it! 🙂

        Keep up the GREAT work!

      • That’s awesome! I feel the same way about my journey. I think my whole life I focused on food and eating it. Now I just want to be healthy and happy and live my life without limitations. The possibilities of what can happen is what is so motivating to me.

        One day I’m sure I’ll have chocolate again, but right now it’s my main trigger to binge so I avoid all sweets. I think mentally I have to be at a place where I feel safe about eating it, then I’ll attempt it again. Until then, I really don’t miss it.

        I live very far from Dallas haha but if I ever get there one day I’ll give you a shout out!!!

        Thanks for your inspiration and for sharing your story!!! You keep up the great work too!!!

  7. Your story is inspiring – it will be tough but you are going to be fine I promise! Well done 🙂
    Also thanks for subscribing to my blog my friend – I look forward to your posts 🙂

    Choc Chip Uru

  8. Hi there! ❤
    I love your blog, especially the cheesy bread post! YUM! 😉 I nominated you for the Amazing Blogger Award!


  9. Just discovered your blog, i have similar problems – an Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with a combination of binge-eating disorder and compulsive overeating. I look forward to reading your blog 🙂 xx

  10. Karyl says:

    I can relate. I’m a bit food obsessed myself. I am currently trying to lose weight and eat in moderation. Just had 40 m and ms. That’s 136 calories, but who’s counting. Me! 🙂 Good luck to you.

  11. iamsnole says:

    I nominated you for the Inspiring Blog Award! Thank for all your work!
    Details here: http://snole.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/blog-awards-for-inspiration/

  12. Girl you could be writing my own story 😀 I’ll be catchining up on all your blog posts 🙂

  13. Ameena says:

    Love and admire your honesty…I’m sure it can’t be easy! Wishing you lots of luck along the way.

    • Thank you so much, I appreciate that!! It’s been a long road, and I’ve got a lot of miles to go before I reach my goal, but I’ll get there! It’s been an adventure and I’m loving every minute!! Thanks for the support!!

  14. I love your blog and I’ve nominated you for a Sunshine Award! Hope you’ll keep it going!

  15. You are not alone. Some days are better than others, but we’re fighters and are awesome despite the fact………….Healthy JOurney!

  16. I would love to share my experience with you, it might be helpful. I used food this way from my teens to my early 30’s. What I learned/experienced in “healing” allowed me to live free of the food struggle for ever after that. I am now 70. I never use food and I haven’t gained and lost as a pattern through life.
    THis is not an ‘advertisement” I’m just offering to share what I’ve learned and lived.
    I am elizabeth.
    I hope you can access my email, or leave a note if you can’t and would like to connect.
    If you don’t want to, no problem.

  17. kendra says:

    Hi! I have a quick question about your blog. Would you mind shooting me an email?

  18. You are brave to share your story! You are definitely not alone. So many people struggle with addiction, including addiction to food. I believe one of the reasons food addiction is so hard to overcome is because you can’t go cold turkey like alcohol or cigarettes. There is no walking away. Best of luck on your journey!

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