HELLO SUGAR WITHDRAWALS!!!
What exactly is an eskimo? Well, I’ll tell you lol First you start with a piece of chocolate cake, moist and delicious. Then you top it with the best buttercream frosting I’ve ever had (it’s more like a hostess cupcake filling!). Next you cover the whole thing in a thick chocolate glaze, and then drizzle some vanilla glaze on top of that…to die for.
Literally if I was on my death bed and they asked me what I wanted for my last meal I would say cheese pizza extra extra lightly cooked and eskimos lol A whole damn tray of them!!! haha And a large glass of almond milk! lol
The worst part about the whole segment was the fact that they left two dozen of them in the freezer….wow. My cravings/sugar withdrawals were at an all time high today. I made love to that eskimo in my head all day today haha Oh my god did I wanted to eat that. BUT I didn’t! Yes I resisted the luciousness that is the eskimo!
It wasn’t easy, I’ll be the first to admit that, and it didn’t help that everyone was like ‘oh you have to treat yourself sometimes, go ahead and eat it!’ Saboteurs!!! HELLLLLLL NOOOOOOOO!!! I would have easily polished off the entire tray myself without hesitation lol
I took those tasty little treats and I passed them out to everyone in the building! Yup, I gave them all away! Buh-bye moist chocolately goodness, buh-bye my little Alaska homes! haha Buh-bye fat old me!!!
The next few days I will probably dream about eating them, I won’t lie. My memory of food is still strong, when I think about it I can actually taste it…hey, it gets me through the day lol
Aside from the whole haunting of the eskimo, there were some other awkward moments today. I must say when people ask me about my weight loss it makes me completely uncomfortable. I know my coworkers mean well when they try to give me a compliment…but on the other hand, asking me if I’m going for a 100 pound weight loss to me is inappropriate. You’re assuming I need to lose 100 pounds in the first place (which I do, but they don’t need to know that lol) and saying it in front of other people is rude, it made me self-conscious. Not to mention, when I tell you I’m not going to tell you how much weight I’ve lost so far…I mean it. That’s for me, myself and I right now (besides all of you of course on my secret blog! lol) I don’t need to share that information with everyone, and asking me every week is really starting to piss me off. What difference does it make if I’ve lost 10 pounds or 80 or 100 or 150? It shouldn’t matter to them because it certainly doesn’t matter to me and I shouldn’t be treated differently because of it, like I’m some sort of lab rat.
I really just don’t like the attention. I’m not where I want to be yet, and when I get there then maybe I’ll feel comfortable sharing my personal journey with these people and maybe not, but I won’t know how I feel until I’m at that point, and that’s a long way aways.
I don’t know why it annoys me so much but I just hate when people don’t listen. It’s like they think if they ask me enough times I’ll eventually cave in and tell them…which I won’t. Some people are so nosey! I even have people trying to find my blog online lol Seriously??? If I wanted you to know what I was writing about, I’d tell you myself!!! Ugh!! I even explained to them that I’m a recovering food addict (something I would have never told people 6 months ago) and that I blog to work through my emotions and it’s private for me and me alone…not even my family or best friend are allowed to read it…and you think it would be ok for you to read it? Hello, rude!
Losing 80 pounds is great, I get it, and yes I look a lot different than I used to…but I don’t want to be treated differently because of it. Maybe it’s me and all in my own head but the thinner you are the more ‘attractive’ you become to the masses…the more people want to hang out with you. I want people to want to hang out with me just because I’m a good time, not because I look good. I could be as thin as a board on the outside but on the inside I am always going to be a fat girl. If you didn’t like me when I was fat…I’m not going to like you when I’m fit! Judgmental and shallow people have no place in my life! All I can say is I know who my real friends are and who just cares about appearance!
People are weird.
Anyhow I went to the gym again, yay me lol But I’m bloated like a mother and it shows! (thank you monthly gift!) Time for bedtime chocolate dreams! MMMmmmm!!
Breakfast: 1 cups Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 1 Foldout Flatbread, 2 oz turkey, 1 slice American cheese, 1 nectarine
Dinner: 1 Foldout Flatbread, 2 oz turkey, 1 slice American cheese, 2 cups cucumbers, 2 tbl lite balsamic vinaigrette
Snack: 1 nectarine, 2 string cheese
Exercise: 30 minutes on the elliptical
Calories burned: 336
Current weight: 246.6 lbs
Current feeling: Bloated