April 14, 2018 – There Is Only Today.

Like most people, I have spent the majority of my life worrying…

  • About my job
  • About money
  • About falling in love
  • About having a family
  • About my weight

The list is endless. However, the past 6 months I have learned to really let go of worry and fear, live in the now, and focus all of my energy on love and gratitude.

If you spend your time worrying…you lose time living.

That’s what I believe. Majority of people, myself included, think they have all the time in the world to do everything they want to do…but you don’t. We’re on borrowed time. If tomorrow never comes…will you be satisfied with how you lived? 6 months ago, I would have said no. If I was on my death bed I would have regretted spending time waiting to live instead of actually living my life.

The days are long, but the years are short.

Life is honestly precious, and time is just an illusion. The days feel long, but then one day you wake up and realize how quickly the years have gone by. Today is the only day you need to think about. Today is the only day that matters. Not tomorrow, not a week from now, not last month, or even last year. None of that matters. Just today.


Don’t wait for tomorrow to start living your life today.

If you’re lucky enough to wake up in the morning, than live the life you dreamed of the night before!

All of my life I have made excuses as to why I couldn’t do something…

  • I can’t date right now, because I’m unhappy with my weight.
  • I can’t change careers right now, because I have too much going on at home.
  • I can’t move right now, because I don’t have the money.
  • I can’t take a real vacation, because I don’t have the money.
  • I can’t finish this project, because I have no time.

And on and on it goes. But I realized that all of that worry and fear was just self-inflicted emotional anguish, and it’s not worth it. Time to get out of my own way!

  • I was the one putting pressure on myself
  • I was the one making the excuses
  • I was the one holding myself back
  • I was the one wasting all of my time worrying

No one has control over you, but you. You have the right to live your life the way you want to…but you also have to be the one to decide that you’re actually going to live it!


I love that quote because it’s so true. Look around you, you’ll notice who’s living and who’s just going through the motions of life. It’s honestly heartbreaking.

Every morning when I wake up a new day begins, and I am grateful. The day is filled with thousands of choices, and I can choose what I want, and I love it! Every day is a chance to do something different, to change your life.

In this moment…at this very second in time, you can decide to change your life completely.

  • If you want to date, DATE!
  • If you want to lose weight, BELIEVE YOU CAN!
  • If you want to travel, PICK A SPOT AND GO!
  • If you want to change careers, DO IT!
  • If you want to move, START PACKING!
  • If you want to finish that project, START IT!

Don’t worry about how it’s “going to get done” or “what will happen if…” excuse any self doubt you may have and just begin! That’s what I’m doing now. I have no idea how everything will come together, but it doesn’t matter. If you have a passion for something, try to do a little bit each day. Slowly but surely your projects will get done, the weight will come off, you’ll meet someone, you’re go that vacation, you’ll find your dream job. You just have to start somewhere.

What the mind believes the heart can achieve!

So what will you do today? The choice is yours!


Posted in Life, Sugar Addict, Weight Loss | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

March 25, 2018 – Awakening.

In August, 2017, everything changed for me, it was the beginning of my spiritual awakening. Sometimes the people you meet and the experiences you have will lead you to a great transformation. This was true for me. At the end of August I felt as if the Universe had shifted, my soul had come alive, and I was set on a new path.

At first I wasn’t sure what was happening, but then the signs began to appear. I was experiencing synchronicity everywhere. It was a concept that was new to me, and suddenly it was all around me. I began to see number sequences, specifically 11:11. I remember reading an article about awakenings and it mentioned seeing 11:11. At the time I remember thinking I never see that number! A few days later I was waiting in line for my bus to go home, standing on the stairs. I heard the bus pull in and I looked up from my phone to see and when I looked up there it was, 11:11, flashing on the bus stop clock. My mouth fell to the floor. I went to find that article to see what it meant but suddenly the article I had saved was gone, and when I looked up 11:11 again a new article mentioned the word synchronicity in the first paragraph. I don’t want to go into the full story, but that night when I got off the bus I walked home I had a package waiting for me, a book titled ‘Synchronicity and You.’ I should note that this was mid November, and the clock at the bus stop is still broken, still flashing 11:11. I see it every single day.

Since then I have noticed many other signs. In my soul growth I’ve become very protective of my energy, I crave solitude, and avoid negativity. I feel such empathy for others, more so than before. At work I think to myself, what am I doing? If I were to die today, what would my legacy be? That I was a great worker for a company that didn’t give a shit about me? I want to make more of an impact on this world, I want to effect change and help people, I crave change. I feel myself wanting to connect more and more to my soul, the universe, and especially my higher self. I’m not a religious person by any means, but I do believe in the power of the universe, law of attraction, and energy. Now more than ever before I feel like I’m here for a bigger purpose and everything that I’ve gone through has made me into who I am today.

Now, I look at the world differently. I feel as if the universe is guiding me, helping me grow, showing me my path. It’s a surreal experience, one that can’t really be explained, but you’ll know it’s happening to you if/when it does.

The biggest lesson I have learned recently is to get rid of ego, and everything that comes with it, fear, jealousy, anxiety, etc. You never realize how ego-driven the world truly is until you remove your own ego and look through your own eyes with a new perspective. Ego isn’t worth it, but unconditional love for yourself is.

This is a part of my journey, it’s going to shape who I become. I’ve never been more excited about my future than I am right now. The world may judge me, the world may not understand my path, but that’s ok, I’m the only one who has to walk it. Stay positive my friends!


Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

February 18, 2018 – Auntie Shell!!

I just wanted to share a very sweet moment in my life with all of you. My nephew, who turns 2 in June, finally gave me a name lol Let’s face it, Auntie Michelle isn’t the easiest name to say, but today when I asked him what my name is, and my brother asked him if he could say Auntie Michelle, this time he smiled adoringly at me and said “Shell” in the cutest way possible!! My heart melted all over the floor lol It was such an exciting and special moment!!!

Truth be told I’ve been waiting forever for him to give me a name lol My name will likely change 13894847394748 times over the next year, but I don’t care because today I have a name lol

My sweet little Brian!! He melts my heart!!

Peek a boo!! Auntie Shell sees you!! Haha


Auntie Shell 🙂

Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

February 16, 2018 – Scars Will Fade.

I’m back, and I’m feeling great! My thyroid surgery went well, and I’m relieved that its all over. Now all that remains is a scar, little Miss Scarlett if you will 🙂 lol Though my scar will fade, my story will always remain, and I’m proud of my journey, I’m a fighter, a survivor, one badass mother ****! lol

It’s taken me my entire life to actually love and accept myself, but I’m finally learning to love myself unconditionally. For me, that means loving every part of me. My quirky personality, my corny jokes, my scars, my stretch marks, my thighs…everything. I don’t want to live my life constantly looking at my body and trying to find ‘flaws.’ When you think about it, what the heck is a flaw anyway? I mean it’s something you make up in your head lol No two people are the same, so you can’t compare, and I honestly think we’re all beautiful because we’re all different. I think ‘flaws’ aren’t ‘flaws’ at all, just traits, that make us each unique. I’ve got some great traits lol No one else has a thyroidectomy scar that looks exactly like mine…bam, positivity! haha

I leave you with a quote I completely adore!


No seriously, go look in the mirror…tell yourself you’re beautiful, because you are! Then tell yourself how much you love YOU, because you’ve been through a lot and you’ve survived 100% of your worst days, and that my friends is amazing! You’re amazing, live your life, love your life, love your scars, share your stories! We only get one life people,  enjoy the ride!! VIVA LA LIFE lol



Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

January 11, 2018 – Send Love.

The past 13 months have been both overwhelming and heartbreaking, but I am potentially a week away from putting it all behind me.

Next week I am scheduled to have a full thyroidectomy and tomorrow I have to get a biopsy. It’s been a rough couple of months. My thyroid is 8x the size of a normal thyroid and I have a large nodule in the left side. Unfortunately surgery is my only option. After an MRI my doctor told me I also have enlarged lymph nodes in my neck. I’ll find out if they’re cancerous tomorrow.

It’s scary to think about and I’m mad at myself for even thinking, “what if.” I’m usually the one preaching about positivity and yet here I am with tear stained cheeks, scared and anxious.

Regardless of what happens I know I can’t change it, the only thing I can do is accept it for what it is and get through it. Sometimes you just want someone to hug you and never let go 😦

I’m going to do my best to believe in myself, in my health and trust that everything will be ok.

Please send love and positive thoughts XO


Posted in Sugar Addict | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

November 4, 2017 – Confessions of a Broken Heart…

This year has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I spent the majority of my year so far waiting…for good news, bad news, for answers. It’s been hard for to me to even process how I feel most days.

The first 7 months were the hardest. It seemed like one big thing right after another. To say I was emotional was an understatement. My heart weighed me down, and my mind made me crazy, I was depressed.

Trying to stay positive when you’re upset isn’t easy. I had to train myself to learn the art of gratitude, and refill my heart and my mind back up with hope and love each day. That was the only way for me to survive emotionally, and I’m thankful I was able to learn that lesson this year. It keeps me grounded and helps me focus on the good things in my life, instead of fearing the future.

The last few months took me on a roller coaster ride that was filled with happiness, but ended with a broken heart…

In August I met a man, a great man. He was unlike anyone I had met before. It didn’t feel like we were getting to know each other, it felt more like we were catching up, like my soul had known him forever. It was weird and unexplainable, but in a good way. This man was kind, and sweet, respectful and thoughtful, a genuinely good person with a really beautiful soul. It felt as if the universe aligned in order for our paths to cross. The more we talked, the more we realized how much we had in common. It was like we were living parallel lives. He was just like me, and I was just like him. From small things, like pizza and iced tea, to major things, like being an entrepreneur, music, and addiction. We had so many things in common that it couldn’t be explained other than fate…destiny.

My year went from tragic and sad to exciting and hopeful….I felt happy again!

The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him. He was smart (so smart!), funny and romantic, and very handsome. His stories inspired me. It was like he woke up my soul and made me feel alive. I felt motivated and excited again to go after my dreams with him in my corner. He believed in me, and it made me believe in myself.

Everything had seemed so great. We never argued or fought; we never even had a disagreement. He would tell me all the time how grateful he was to have met me, how happy I made him, how amazing I was. He sent me cute emojis and gifs all the time, and called me his ‘Unicorn.’ Then the next thing I knew he began to ignore me and distance himself from me. At one point he just stopped asking me about my day, or how I was doing, and ignored me after my Mom’s breast cancer surgery. That hurt. I simply did not understand why he was acting this way towards me.

It was a whirlwind romance that ended as quickly as it began…before it ever really had a chance to get started.

The way he ended it was upsetting to say the least. He sent me a text message at 8:50AM on a Monday morning, right as I was walking into my office. He said he lost interest and wished we could have had this conversation in person, but then asked if I would want to grab lunch at the end. Why didn’t he just ask me to meet him for lunch to talk?? Why say all of this in a text?? It was painful.

He compared our relationship to a girl he dated last year, which was like a knife to the heart. It made me feel like he didn’t think our connection was special at all, making me feel like I was just like her. That hurt.

He said he wanted to be friends, but I honestly didn’t know if he meant it. I felt like he hated me. He had been ignoring my texts, slow to respond and barely said anything to me when he did. It also didn’t help that my friends at work told me he didn’t like me, and didn’t really want to be friends, that he just wanted me to go away. One of the perks of getting that message at work that day. I couldn’t hide the fact that I was upset and of course everyone had an opinion. Which only confused me more.

I took everything he said to me personally. How could I not? When someone loses interest you can’t help but feel it was you that was the real problem.

It was already an emotional week because my Mom had surgery a few days prior and we were impatiently waiting for her results to see if she was cancer free. I hadn’t slept much, and I had a lot of anxiety that week. When he ended it, my world just flipped upside down again. I was heartbroken.

I was left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and try to piece them back together again, all the while wondering …why??

Sending a serious text response that your wrote in-between meetings at work…while your co-workers were constantly chiming in with their thoughts on the situation, was not a smart move. I was very emotional and I reacted without thinking it through. I wish I had waited.

I didn’t want to speak from anger, instead I wanted to respond with a positive message, filled with words of love and encouragement, instead of heartache. I wanted him to know how much I believed in him and wanted him to believe in himself. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy. But masked behind what I thought to be inspirational words, were pieces of my broken heart scattered throughout, spilling emotions all over the place. Halfway through it felt like I was writing a letter to myself, trying to convince myself to keep believing.

Broke my own heart more that day. Truth was, I didn’t want to believe any of this was really happening. I was in denial.

Rereading my response the next day was tough. I wish I had waited and never sent it. I never gave myself time to process what he said or how I was feeling, I confused myself and I shouldn’t have listened to anyone else’s opinions. The next day I looked at everything differently…I felt differently… I instantly knew I messed up.

A month went by before he gave me a glimpse into how he felt about everything. He said I overwhelmed him, and he simply couldn’t handle it. Even before my intense response he told me that there were a “lot of little things,” but never said what they were. I have no idea what he’s referring to and it’s upsetting to me.

He said my response to his text was “like getting hit in the chest with an emotional hammer.” That made me really sad, it made me cry actually. That was never my intention. I didn’t even think he would take it that way.

If we had met in person to discuss everything I think we both would have understood each other better and why everything happened the way it did. There was definitely some miscommunication.

He is someone I want in my life, and I want to be a part of his life, even if it means only as friends. I’d like to continue getting to know him, and uncover the reasons why we met to begin with. I don’t believe in coincidence, everything happens for a reason, including our paths crossing.

I’m a good person with a big heart, but I feel very deeply, think deeply…and sometimes that’s my downfall.

If he could have told me how he felt right along, I would have listened. Maybe I should have told him how I felt about his text before I responded at all. No one is perfect, least of all me, but I am always willing to listen so that I can learn about myself, and continue to grow as a person. I would never hurt him, or anyone, intentionally. That’s not who I am.

We can’t help who we care about, our hearts have a mind of their own. I believe people are brought into our lives at just the right time, but it’s up to each of us to figure out why. I’d really like to know why we met.

When I looked into his eyes it felt as if our souls connected. To me, our connection was real…too real for me to believe our story is over. I care about him. I will always care about him, he’s a good person. His friendship is worth fighting for…he is worth fighting for, and I’m not ready to give up the fight.

One day I hope he looks back and realizes my heart was pure, my intentions were good, and our connection really was fate. I hope one day he gives me another chance, and we can start over. Our paths crossed for a reason…a reason I believe we are meant to discover together.

I may have only known him for a short time, but I am grateful to have met him, and I will cherish those memories forever.

All I want to do is just wanna have fun! Life is meant for the living and I’m ALLLLIVEEEE lol Sorry that was me trying to be funny…not my best work I’ll admit lol Carry on!

Good vibes only!!!




Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

October 25, 2017 – Storytellers.


Storytellers. Everyone has a story to tell. We all have a past, one that has shaped everything about who we are, and a future that dictates who we will become.

From the moment we are born our story begins. Chapter 1, if you will, maybe yours starts with a preface if you’re into that haha The first few years of your life you will never remember, which is funny to think about. We were alive, yet we have no memory of it, at least I don’t lol. When I think back to the years I do remember I was probably 6 or 7. Those memories are some of the ones I have carried with me my entire life.

One example. Growing up my brothers and I were extremely close with my cousins because we were all the same age. It was great, we were best friends, we still are. We did everything together, we even vacationed together. One trip in particular we were at Ocean City, Maryland. It was our go-to vacation spot, we loved it. My twin brother used to torment me, like most brothers do lol I’ll never forget what he said to me on this trip though. It was the first time anyone ever called me fat.

My cousin Kerry, who is a year and a half younger than me, and I were prancing around on the beach, it was a bright, sunny day, we were both wearing cute little bikinis. I was an adorable little blonde girl. Not going to lie, I was the cutest lol My brother comes up to me and just bluntly says, “You’re fat!” My Mother was near by and I remember thinking, I’m fat? What does that mean? I ran to my Mother and I told her my brother called me fat, and she replied, “you’re not fat! Don’t listen to him.” I remember running back over to my brother and cousins and saying “Mom said I’m not fat!” He was in the water, I don’t even know if he heard me, but I was upset by what he said. I would spend the whole rest of the day thinking about.

As my family prepared dinner that night all of the kids were playing with balloons, and my cousin Kerry and I stuffed two balloons into our shirts and made ourselves some boobies lol Didn’t we all do that at one point in our lives? I was sitting on my legs in a kneeling position, Kerry was sitting next to me, and my brother was on the other side of me. It was picture time! All of us cousins lined up like we had hundreds of times before. My brother taps me on the shoulder and I look at him and he says “See, your thighs are bigger than Kerry’s, you are fat!” Snap goes the picture. I went immediately to my Mother after he said that and told her what she said, her response was the same, but she was slightly annoyed that I brought it up again, “I already told you you weren’t fat, don’t listen to him!”

When you’re young you don’t have a clue how to process emotions. Hell it’s a daily struggle now lol But at that time I just remember comparing myself to Kerry. I thought, you know what he’s right, she is smaller than me. I instantly felt fat, and so my shame began. I would compare myself to her for years and years after that. I never looked at the situation logically. Logic would have been – I’m older than her, I’m taller than her, duh it makes sense that I’m bigger than her, a 6-year old is obviously bigger than a 5-year old. But I didn’t do that. The people who surrounded me couldn’t explain it to me in a way that I could understand, and a way that didn’t make me self conscious.

My brother doesn’t remember this story, and why would he? This moment didn’t affect his life, it affected mine. I’m not mad at him, I hold no resentment towards him, it was a very big lesson I had to learn in my life. Acceptance. And I only recently learned that in the last few years.

Life is hard. Our story’s are forever changing. What affects one person doesn’t affect another. It’s important to look back at your own life and take the time to get to know yourself. All of these little stories have created the person you are. Understanding, processing, accepting the bad ones, gets you to the good stories.

No two people are the same, everyone has their own string of stories to tell, and I want to hear them all. The stories someone shares with you shows you a piece of their soul. It’s an incredible experience and I treasure every one I hear.

Nothing is a coincidence. I believe everything happens for a reason, including the people you meet. In my job I have to meet a lot of new people, almost every day. New clients, new co-workers, people on the elevators lol These are people you can’t control meeting, however I still think you meet all of them for a reason as well. To learn from their stories.

When it comes to my life and the people I let into it, I’m very selective. Some say I’m too picky, but I disagree. Quality over quantity. The older you get the less people you have in your life, but I think that’s by design. The older we get the more we realize how important it is to be surrounded by good people who genuinely love and care about us. People who are truly invested in our lives in a meaningful way. The ones who listen when you talk. The ones who hug and kiss you when you’re sad. The ones who are excited for you when something good happens. The ones who ask about your day because they genuinely care. The ones who support your dreams no matter how ‘crazy’ they may seem to someone else. The ones who take the time to get to know you. Most importantly, the ones who love and accept you for who you are and don’t pass judgement. These are the people that mean the most to me. These are the people I share my stories with. These are the people I truly treasure.

That little 6-year old girl will always be a part of my story. My brother calling me fat led to me comparing myself to other women, which led me to feeling insecure and self conscious, which led me to a deep depression, which led me to develop an eating disorder, which led me to have a nervous breakdown, which led me to seek treatment, which led me to give up refined sugar, which led me on a path to recovery, which led me to finding myself, and reinventing myself, which led me to finding my inner peace and happiness, which led me to accept myself, which led me to realize my bigger purpose in life…helping others who struggle with sugar addiction. Everything happens for a reason.

Everyone has a story to tell. Most people who read my blog have blogs of their own. I appreciate people who allow themselves to be vulnerable and let people into their world, into their story. It’s not an easy, blogging is really personal, but sharing your story can help someone continue writing theirs. The stories I have read have really helped shaped me as a person. Stories are powerful. If you have a story to tell, share it. You never know who you might be helping, and maybe the person you’re really helping is yourself.


Writing is therapeutic. Blogging has helped me understand myself on a deeper level. Starting this blog helped me figure out who I was, what I wanted, what made me happy. It also helped me work through my problems and learn to love and accept myself, finding my inner peace. Writing forced me to look at myself differently. I’m not fat, I’m beautiful. Every line, dimple, curve on my body, each tell a story. Every experience in my life is a story. Every emotion is a story. Two years ago I was ashamed of my stories. I’m not anymore. I believe all of my stories make me who I am, they tie in to my bigger purpose in life, helping people.

Don’t be afraid to be who you are, love yourself. Let the past live in the past, but learn from it. Don’t fear your future, embrace it. We’re all meant to be something great. Each of us have a purpose, a story to tell. If everything happens for a reason, than all of your stories will lead you to live an amazing life. I believe that.

Be grateful for the stories you have.
Be excited for the stories you will one day tell.


Posted in Food Addict, Life, Sugar Addict | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

October 5, 2017 – Fuck Cancer!

Screen Shot 2017-10-05 at 8.56.19 PMLast Tuesday my Mom had breast cancer surgery. We knew we would have to wait for the biopsy results until today, when she went back to see her surgeon. It hasn’t gone well in the past so this past week has been excruciating waiting for the results. My emotions have been all over the map this week. Couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t sleep.

Today we finally got the results, and I’m happy to say my Mom is breast cancer free!!! WOOHOO!!!! And, no radiation will be necessary either, which is amazing news!!! I felt a big sense of relief that she made it through. It’s been a long road for her. She’s not out of the woods yet, but hopefully she can continue down this positive road to good health.

My Mom has always been a sick woman. In addition to her battle with breast cancer she is also currently battling lung cancer. She had lung cancer in her left lung when I was in high school, they removed half of it. Now she has lung cancer in her right lung. Two years ago she and breast cancer in her left breast and had to have radiation after surgery. It caused her to have breathing issues ever since. Most recently it was her right breast that had cancer. She’s been through so much this year especially.

For me the hardest part has been living so far away from my Mom. She lives in Massachusetts, I live in New Jersey. I miss the days when I lived down the street from her and on days she needed me I could just get in my car and drive to her house in a matter of minutes. I was able to easily go with her to doctor appointments and treatments. I felt better being there so she wasn’t alone, so I wasn’t alone. Now she’s 150 miles from me and I don’t have a car anymore. I can’t just stop what I’m doing get in my car and go there. It kills me. Before I can do anything now I have to figure out vacation time and sick time, which is easier said than done, and book a ticket. I’ve probably spent over $2K on trains and buses this year alone. I regret giving up my sweet little Toyota Corolla, she needed a lot of work, but she was a solid vehicle…god I loved that car lol #RIPKiwi

2017 has not been kind. It felt like my head was being held under water the entire year. I’m being told to breathe but slowly my lungs are filling up with water. This year has really tested me and my strength. There were times where I just couldn’t see the light in all the darkness. It was one thing after another. I didn’t have time to process anything. It was hit after hit after hit. First my Mom got sick, then I got sick, then my Mom got sicker.

It took me a while but I finally feel like my head is above the water again. This summer really changed things for me. I was at a very hopeless point in my life. I started to think about gratitude, a lot. Since I’m like the rain man of The Secret, I reread it. Truth be told I read it all the time, and often carry it with me every where I go. Every time I read it I take something new away from it. It’s like my reset button. When I’m feeling negative, I reset and then I feel better. This summer The Secret helped me really feel gratitude.

Death and sickness are a part of life, a scary part. This is hard to even write without crying. But I thought a lot about death this year. I think about what my life would be like without my Mom. This past week I tried to mentally prepare myself for the worse. When it comes to health, my Mom got the short end of the stick. It’s never been easy for her. On Sunday she was scared. Scared the cancer would still be there. Scared she would need radiation. Scared her breathing would get worse. Hearing your Mom talk about very real possibilities and not being able to do anything about it makes you feel just sad and helpless. I imagined all of the different scenarios that could play out. It’s all I could think about. Between her breast and her lung I kept thinking about death. I didn’t want to think like that, but sometimes you just can’t help it. I am my own worst enemy when I’m alone with my thoughts. I was overwhelmed this past week.

This year I learned the act of feeling truly grateful. When you face death and illness, everything else just seems so small and unimportant. Life is what’s important. The people you love. The moments you share with them. The memories you make. Everything else is insignificant in the long run. I’m grateful my Mom is still here with us.

I try to go through a mental list every morning, on my way to work, of all the things I’m grateful for, the people I’m grateful for, and the moments I’m grateful for. Feeling grateful really does make you feel more alive and less concerned about the tiny bs that happens every day. I don’t know how else to describe it. I appreciate life so much more now than I ever have before, and I’m thankful for that. Life is precious. Tomorrow is not a guarantee for anyone. It really puts things into perspective when you’re facing death. Gratitude is a process. I have to actively remind myself to practice gratitude, but I always feel better when I do, so I highly recommend it. Even if it feels corny, do it lol It works.

Let me give you a tiny bs story for inspiration lol A few weeks ago I was walking up my street at night, which literally goes up a giant cliff and I’m at the top of it haha Anyhow, I was listening to music, specifically Taylor Swift’s new song ‘Look what you made me do,’ it had just come out. The next thing I knew I tripped on the stupid sidewalk because there was a part that was raised, and it was dark and I couldn’t see great, so I fell on my knees lol My glasses flung off my face hit the sidewalk and broke haha I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the irony. Here’s Taylor going ‘Look what you made me do’ and then I trip and I’m like ‘dude look what you made me do Taylor!’ lol I clearly do not pay attention sometimes. The point of my story is that last year that would have made me soooooooo mad. I would have been pist. I probably would have cried and threw a fit like a five year old because they are expensive glasses lol But I didn’t! I literally just LOL’d and then called my Mom when I got home and laughed some more, called my best friend and laughed even more. I thought it was ha-larious lol ‘Look what you made me’ …..TRIP’ hahahahahahaha Quick update for you. I wore contacts for a few days, no big deal then I finally went to an eyeglass store in Times Square three days post trip, the guy slapped some glue into the little dohicky, attached the other little dohicky and boom I have glasses again. Although they’re still technically broken you’d never know! haha

Here, play this…and then think about me tripping #yourwelcome lol

The moral of my story is that I use haha and lol a lot…lol I felt like the end of that sentence needed one, I’m sorry. No, that’s not the moral of my story. The moral of my story is FUCK CANCER! Yay! Live in gratitude! Don’t take life so seriously. Sh*t happens. Whatever. You’ll never stop sh*t from happening, it’s true. No matter how safely you walk, you can always fall lol Don’t sweat the small stuff because it’s not important. The people in your life are what’s important. Make memories, live in the moments, do what makes you happy and find your inner gratitude for it all. Life is good people. Life is a beautiful thing! Surround yourself with love, and love those who surround you!

Screen Shot 2017-10-05 at 10.07.46 PM


Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

October 2, 2017 – Timing.

“Timing is everything.” I think timing plays a really big part in the design of your life. Everything happens for a reason, timing included. There’s good timing, and sometimes there really is just bad timing. I don’t know that bad is the right word necessarily, I think of it as just another way of saying, patience, the timing isn’t right yet.


When I discovered I was a sugar addict, the timing was terrible. I had a successful bakery business that I loved doing, but I was deeply unhappy in my life and realized I had to give up sugar. That also meant giving up my business, that I loved, in order to free myself from my own addiction. I had to let go of a dream. I was devastated. I felt lost. I had no idea who I was anymore. Truth was the timing wasn’t right for me to have my own business. 

Looking back, I’m grateful for ending my business when I did because I would have never overcome my sugar addiction otherwise. Sometimes you have to stop what you’re doing and focus on taking care of yourself, your own happiness, and put yourself first.

After getting my sugar addiction under control I put myself first again. Two years ago I decided to move to NYC. My whole life I helped take care of everyone else around me. I loved helping people. I could never say no, I didn’t want to. What I didn’t realize is the toll it would eventually take on myself, and my own happiness. I had been a caregiver for my grandparents for 6 years at that point. No easy task. Mentally I became exhausted. In 2012 I lost my Babci, she had a heart attack. After her death I continued to care for my Dziadziu, but his needs were very different. He just needed help cooking and cleaning and the occasional doctors appointment. I took my Babci to the doctors every week, blood tests every other week, lots of prescriptions, she took 22 pills a day, cooking, cleaning, errands, shopping, you name it I did it. It was a full time job, but I loved her, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. She was my rock, my best friend, my soul mate. I loved my Dziadziu with all my heart, but I couldn’t stay any longer. I was unhappy in my job, my personal life, my living situation. I was desperate for a change. I knew it was time to leave. I had to take care of myself and my own happiness, I had to put myself first. Leaving was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but it also turned out to be the best thing I’ve ever done for me.

Since moving to the city I have really started to transform every aspect of my life, including my old business. It’s been a challenge, but change was good. Change was necessary.

I think about the people in my life going through similar situations. I recognize myself in others. I see their struggles, their pain, their hurt. You want to help, but sometimes they need to do it on their own, and you have to respect that. At some point in everyone’s life you come to a crossroads where you have to make these major decisions about your life in order to really find your happiness, and it’s never easy. And sometimes the people in your life take it personally when you do make changes, even though it’s not intentional.

My Dziadziu took it personally when I left, he took it hard, and it was heartbreaking. He felt like I was abandoning him, that I didn’t care anymore, that I didn’t love him, he just wanted to die. It was like a knife to the heart. I never cried so hard in my life. I didn’t want him to feel this way, it wasn’t what I intended, but it was how he felt. I worked very hard to make him feel extra special, to show him how much I did care, and of course set up care for him before I left so he wouldn’t feel alone. It took a few months, but he eventually settled in to his new reality, as did I. When I come home now to visit I still cook all his favorites, in bulk, so he can enjoy it for a month or so! After moving I called him every single day, like I had for the past 6 years, until he was adjusted. I still call him every week. I go big for his birthday! He’s turning 94 in November, yay! It all turned out OK, and that’s what makes me happy!

My Dziadziu has only ever wanted me to be happy. He’s one of my biggest supporters, and he has a huge heart! His voicemails are the best thing ever! He’s the cutest! I’m really grateful to still have him around. If I could have given him some better advice back in the day I would have told him, don’t take it personally, even though I’m moving, I’m still around, and don’t be afraid. Sometimes I have to remind myself about this story so I don’t let myself take things personally.

Screen Shot 2017-10-07 at 12.09.15 AM.png


Posted in Life, Sugar Addict | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

October 1, 2017 – Baseball, Music & BFFs!

This weekend was great. The Boston Red Sox clinched the AL East! YAY!


Courtesy Masslive.com

Then I went to see Hanson on their 25th Anniversary Middle of Everywhere tour!


Courtesy Hanson.net

My best friend came with me to the concert, her first time, it was epic! The line wrapped all the way around a NYC block…legit lol It was crazy.

More good news coming but I can’t quite share that yet, but I’m REALLY excited about it! This was a great weekend, exactly what I needed.

Find your passions and enjoy them!!


Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment