May 21, 2013 – Landlords suck.

This weather is crazy right now in this world…tornadoes, death and destruction, just plain awful. Another thing that’s awful…landlords. Mine mailed me my lease instead of calling me like normal people or asking me to come down to sign it to the office. B*tches be hoes that’s for damn sure and I’m SO sick and tired of dealing with them that I’m just gonna sign it and move on with my life. They increased my rent…never fixed my hot water shower issue and I still only have one rack in my stupid oven. I literally HATE this company…BUT love my apartment…what a dilemma.

I have nothing left to say.

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 1 wrap, 2 oz chicken, 1 Laughing Cow Light Creamy Swiss Cheese Wedge, 1 tomato, 1 banana
Dinner: 1/2 chicken breast, 1 cup baked beans, 1 cup spinach, 1/4 avocado, 2 biscuits
Snack: 22 whole wheat Ritz crackers, 2 oz Cracker Barrel Extra Sharp cheese

Current weight:  215.4 lbs
Current feeling: Annoyed

XOXO,
HopefulAddict

May 20, 2013 – Monday, Monday lol Tra la la

Woke up early…new intern started today so went to work early today. Got lots done, did some work, went grocery shopping, came home, had dinner, watched TV, blogging, going to bed. Goodnight lol

My day in a nutshell! Anyhow…after a rough weekend emotionally I am feeling better today. I really want to get a grill and grill, grill, grill as much as I can lol

Some of my favorite things to eat on the grill are:

God I love food lol That is all!

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 1 veggie burger, ketchup, mustard, 1 cup spinach
Dinner: 2 tortillas, 1 medium chicken breast, 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese, 1/2 cup avocado, salsa, 3 tbl light sour cream
Snack: 22 whole wheat Ritz crackers, 4 oz Cracker Barrel Extra Sharp cheese

Current weight:  217 lbs
Current feeling: Lazy

XOXO,
HopefulAddict

May 19, 2013 – “I’m feeling 22!”

I was heavy hearted today…after the walk yesterday all I could think about was Babci, and well ate those feelings today in forms of bread, ugh. But whatever…I’m working through it.

I went to good ole Walmart and I bought some picture frames and made some collages today. I also bought sparklers for $2 and the cashier had to do a double take on me to make sure I was 18 LMAO! WHAT? haha I laughed out loud it was so funny, ‘She’s like yeah you’re 18…right? Maybe just a little bit older?’ I was like ‘I fr*aking love you right now lol’ She asked me how old I was of course I didn’t answer and instead asked her how how I looked she said ’22′ and the woman in line behind me agreed with her…when I told her I was 31 they were literally shocked lol I was so flattered!!! The cashier goes ‘Girl, whatever you’re doing just keep doing it!’ HAHA WOOHOO!! When I got in the car I turned it on and Taylor Swift ‘I’m Feeling 22′ was on LOL HA-LARIOUS!!

Today was such a random day I swear I was like in the mood to get on an ATV and go mudding or whatever you call it haha I wanted to put pink streaks in my hair and I wanted to go goth for a day…no clue why but I think because I really wanted to be 22 again!! That was my favorite birth year anyways…you’re older than 21 so you’re officially ‘an adult’ and you’re still carefree at that age…it’s like the perfect age!!!

Anyhow…here are my new additions to my apartment!

A pic of Babci holding me as a baby…since I’m trying to keep myself motivated I blocked myself in the pictures so that you still won’t know what I look like until my big reveal which I am still looking forward too…I haven’t lost sight of that!! It’s just, you know, taking me forever haha

Above that table I put one of these photo collages…Babci is the cutest!!!

And then on the wall next to my closet in the hallway I added a poem my Babci wrote that I shared earlier in my blog a few weeks ago. Love it so much!

Now I feel like the love is spreading in my apartment! Next up is my bedroom…and then I may redecorate some walls. I’m searching for inspiration wherever I can find it and I figure if I see Babci everywhere, and if she’s all around me…then she can remotivate me to keep going, keep pushing on and never give up faith!!!

BTW did anyone watch Long Island Medium tonight?? Some of the readings seriously blew my mind!!! Especially the one where the guy (spirit) was cursing at Theresa…scary. Anyhow…if you have never watched that show WATCH IT!!! Best show on TV.

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 3 pieces corn bread, 1 cup strawberries, 2 string cheese
Dinner: 2 pieces cheese pizza
Snack: 2 pieces corn bread, 15 multi grain crackers, 4 tbl cheddar cheese

 

Current weight:  216.7 lbs
Current feeling: Numb

XOXO,
HopefulAddict

May 18, 2013 – Walking for Babci <3

Today was the annual American Heart Association Heart Walk in my town. My friend and I went to walk in memory of Babci. We had stickers on our backs and walked the full 3 miles. It was sunny and warm, just a beautiful day for a walk! I plan on walking in as many of those walks as I can.

Anyhow after the walk I went home and cooked for Dziadziu. Today I made him steak and gravy with mashed potatoes and sauteed peppers and onions, one of his favorite dinners. I didn’t make any desserts though, I went to the bakery and bought him some Chrusciki (Polish crullers).

When I got to Dziadzius he told me that my Dad stopped by and said my Dziadziu’s sister wasn’t doing too good and we should go visit her, she had lost 10 pounds and she was probably only 90 to start with, she’s very small. So we headed over there and when we got there she was in bed, this was probably around 7:30, she looked very thin…it was sad. We brought her some of the dessert it hopes that she’ll gain some weight. We talked to her for a while, she misses her home (she’s in a nursing home) and I feel so bad for her because her situation is just all messed up, honestly breaks my heart.

I told her we would come back again next week…and I’ll probably take Dziadziu to go see her every week for a while because you just never know what’s going to happen and I don’t want her to feel like she’s alone, she was happy we were there and that’s important, especially in my family. I’m going to make her apple squares when we go next week…her favorite.

It was a strange day, strange few days…still trying to figure out the psychic’s reading…now I’m thinking it has something to do with my Dziadziu’s mother who passed away years ago…not sure but all I know is I love my family!

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 3 cucumber avocado sushi rolls
Dinner: 2 pieces combination pizza
Snack: 6 strawberries, 1/4 cup whipped cream, 3 slices rye bread and butter

Exercise: Walked 3 miles

Current weight:  215.4 lbs
Current feeling: Sad

XOXO,
HopefulAddict

May 17, 2013 – The Psychic Breakdown…

Ok below is my notes from today’s reading with the psychic. The ones in blue mean they make sense for Babci…the other ones…I have no clue about! lol

The Psychic Breakdown:

• Dry lips – she said her lips were very dry and chapped at her passing (can’t say I agree with that)
• Workers hands – said her hands were rough not soft (her hands were always soft! Made no sense to me)
• Said she was asking about a girl around my age who was family (no clue)
• Fidgeting with her ring (Don’t know what that means)
• Factory worker, working with her hands (She wrote a lot but I don’t know the relevance)
• Kept saying someone doesn’t visit, someone doesn’t come to the grave (I mean there’s a lot of people who don’t go to graves but I don’t know who she’s referring too)
• Mentioned an old doll (Never had any dolls from Babci, no clue)
• Similarities from her illness to your father’s illness (True! They both had heart attacks, they both had heart disease, they both smoked)
• Tugging on her ears, small earrings, like pearls (Never wore jewelry, no clue)
• Said she was always clearing her throat (True! But that’s pretty common I think, at least at her age)
• Saw me sitting on a bench, stone bench (What that means, I have no idea!)
• Before her passing did someone not come visit her (in nursing home/hospital) – said she has sorrow of someone not visiting (Well she wasn’t in a nursing home and she died ‘technically’ in the hospital, but there was no time for ‘visiting’ the only thing I can think of is my brother not coming for her funeral, I don’t know)
• Showing a cross, her cross? (I mean she was religious but I don’t know what that meant!)
• Asked if she lived with me and my Mom (Nope…especially since she’s my Dad’s Mom…which made me wonder who she was really channeling lol Although I did live with her at one time but I didn’t tell her that, not sure if that’s what she was referring too)
• “Did she have a heavy accent? Towards the end did she jump over words? Words are coming in differently. Either they were confused towards the end or there’s an accent there.” (Um no accent, no confusion, well spoken till the day she died, no accent at all….no clue what that meant!)
• Said she was working with my Dad, feels he had a close call, a few close calls (That scares me, she also told me something else would happen to my Dad before he changed his unhealthy ways)
• Asked me what was with the number 16? (birthday, anniversary, passing…could also be the month of July) Important day for her. (No clue, my birthday is the 16th of August…but I don’t know if that’s what she was referring to, if you add 6 and 1 you get 7, which could also mean July…her birthday)
• Said she was showing her tight socks on the legs…not wearing them anymore, happy about that (True! She wore compression stockings, so that’s great!)
• Rubbing her nose, something bothered her nose, no longer bothering her (True! She wore her bipap mast at night, and it always bothered her nose, so yay!)
• Asked me who was the smoker? (True, she smoked)
• Kept saying the inheritance should be mine, wanted me to have more (I agree with that lol jk I have no clue what she’s talking about but she did always tell me I deserved the world!)
• Something handmade from her, with patches too it, an afghan or a quilt that brings me comfort (Never sewed, never handmade anything like that, no clue!)
• Tulips, flowers, all different colors (True! Dziadziu always grows lots of flowers every year!)
• Sternness to her, doesn’t come across soft, not a pushover, said what she had to say, not a meanness, just unlaboring (Totally wrong, not Babci at all, no clue who she was referring to)
• Asked me if she collected birds or figurines. “No feeding the finches? I feel like they’re yellow finches” (Had nothing to do with birds…no clue what she was talking about)
• Brought up the name Mary, Nicoli or Nichole and the month of April (Not a clue!)
• Size 8, I see someone doing the figure 8 with ice skates (I don’t know who skates and wears a size 8…she was a 10)
• “What’s with Avon? I’m smelling perfume that’s overpowering.” (She stopped wearing perfume decades ago…no clue)
• Not in pain anymore (Hope that’s true, she was in a TON of pain so yay!)
• A little bit of an apology for the end, of what she could do or couldn’t do (I could see her saying something crazy like this but I don’t know what she’s referring to)
• Wants me to get closer to god and pray more (I might try it since I haven’t been able to feel her presence since she died)
• Told me to have strength when dealing with a child that’s too much, one who gave their parents a run for their money (She kept bringing up this troubled teen…I currently know no teenagers, what she’s talking about I have no clue.

Well that’s my notes for the most part. She said abundance is coming to me, meaning money, so I’m pretty excited to win the Powerball!! YAY!!! The tarot card reading was much more on point, but the connecting to Babci was nothing like Theresa Caputo…who I can’t wait to get a reading from!! Who knows maybe one day this will all make sense. My Mom thinks perhaps she was channeling my grandmother…but my grandmother is still alive so that would be weird. I have no clue lol

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 1 veggie burger, lettuce, ketchup, mustard
Dinner: 4 pieces combination pizza
Snack: 6 strawberries, 1/4 cup whipped cream

Current weight:  213.5 lbs
Current feeling: Bummed

XOXO,
HopefulAddict

May 16, 2013 – WARNING! Curse of the dinner rolls!

Oh how I love dinner rolls!! Especially soft little fluffy ones!!! My Mom and I went out to dinner tonight and they had these tiny dinner rolls that were AMAZING!!! So good in fact I ate four of them at dinner…brought the rest home and ate them!!! LOL Oh the curse of a good dinner roll!!

I don’t feel bad about eating them because I love them and they were great and I had a great dinner with my Mom!! One of these days I will settle back down…at least I had a healthy lunch and breakfast haha

Psychic tomorrow! And I’m doing a heart walk on Saturday for Babci so I’m excited about that! Can’t wait for the weekend!! YAY!!!

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 1 veggie burger, 1 slice provolone cheese, lettuce, ketchup, mustard
Dinner: 4 small dinner rolls, 1 piece grilled chicken, 1/2 cup roasted mushrooms, 1 salad, 2 tbl honey mustard dressing, 1/4 cup green beans
Snack: 3 small dinner rolls

Current weight:  213.6 lbs
Current feeling: Stuffed!

XOXO,
HopefulAddict

May 15, 2013 – Psychic…hmmm

SOOOOOOO I was talking to my friend about Theresa Caputo from Long Island Medium because I’m obsessed with her and I LOVE that show!! I’m on her waiting list and can’t WAIT to meet her and get a reading one day…but my friend told me how she went to this psychic who channeled her grandmother and evidenlty was very specific…so I was intrigued. I called this psychic and at once made an appointment lol I meet with her Friday…I am feeling SO hopeful about that because if she can channel my Babci…and give me messages I will be extremely happy!!! I’m hoping she’s legit I really am!!! Don’t worry I’ll keep you posted!!!

In other news I have a need to craft…and I really want to COLOR!! I’m thinking about finding an art class for adults and taking it. I think it would be fun and creative and maybe inspire me and help me relieve some stress. Plus I need an excuse to buy these markers again….Mr. Sketch anyone???

The best one by far was the cherry!!!

Well that’s all I’ve got for today haha It was a good day, can’t wait till Friday!!

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K Red Berries, 1/2 cup almond milk
Lunch: 3 cucumber avocado rolls
Dinner: 2 slices pesto cheese pizza
Snack: 1 piece corn bread

Current weight:  211.9 lbs
Current feeling: Excited!

XOXO,
HopefulAddict